I once was a simple common Troll,
Sitting beneath my bridge,
Policing the wat'ry boundary,
'Tween lowlands and high ridge,
Three goats came, destroyed my home,
And tossed me to the water,
For days it seems it may have been,
I was the current's fodder.
I beached upon a creekside road,
And found by a Trollish army,
"Put this one amongst the grunts."
Snapped their leader, fowl and smarmy,
And so it was I went to war,
Against men I did not know,
For years we fought and bled and killed,
There were so few left to woe.
And so I came to meet my King,
Who honored me with titles,
He fed me well and gave me tea,
While we heard the bards' recitals,
But when I tried to sing along,
I was sharply reprimanded,
Such acts were meant for lesser folk,
For so it was commanded.
From there I traveled 'round the world,
Saw much both sad and droll,
But no where could I find a place,
That felt like home for a Troll,
Then much to my sustained surprise,
A message was delivered,
A royal summons from my King,